LOST DAUGHTER: The Images
One summer day, I was strolling in my local park and as I saw the light glinting of the shallow stream as the chaffinches flew down to take a sip, an idea swooped into my mind. Having recently gazed and been moved by Ophelia at the Tate Britain in London, something deep within me told me that I needed to create some images that helped me explore it more deeply. I didn’t really know why other than being drawn to the Pre-Raphaelite aesthetic and a gut feeling.
How the idea evolved
I parked the idea for a while (a good idea will still be a good idea in a few weeks time is something I’ve learnt) and then kept talking about. I knew that finding the right sitter would be key so that I could really create the look and luckily, over coffee with a friend, the perfect actor stepped into the story. Starting a project like this is the hardest part of the process so this felt like a gift. The friend of a friend said yes and I started assembling the team.
Researching the theme and bringing together reference shots is one of the most exciting part of the planning process. The shots start to form in your head and the seed of an idea comes to life. When I started to explore the role of Ophelia in Hamlet and realised how much I resonated with her grief and loss, the approach became clear of how I was going to flesh the idea out and condense the hugeness of it all into one evening.
The shoot
The May evening arrived that we had planned for the shoot and as always it’s so exciting to get everyone in one place and catch the energy for the evening. For the photographer though, the hair and make up stage can be excruciating as we just want to get on with taking the shots and yet we must have patience. So we play with and check the kit and make sure the team are okay and have everything they need.
Anna May and I had decided to use music to guide us and so throughout the shots (apart from in the river) we were listening to the same songs via her AirPods (which were photoshopped out where visible). This really led the emotion of the night and we stayed close to each other, just the two of us for much of it as it felt intuitive to do so. In retrospect it created a safe intimate space where the emotions could rise up and be held with respect.
The experience of shooting this was very special to me. As we called WRAP I looked up and saw the moon and felt such a sense of release. Like I could almost feel a weight of grief leave my body in an instant. There were tears, (not just mine) and it took quite a while to process what had happened. Such a grateful heart for such a profound experience.
The images
Here are the images from the exhibition, never seen before online. Enjoy! If you have time please spend a few moments with each of them and maybe you can feel some of what I feel every time I look at them…
When You Leave
Rest in Love
Too Much Remembering
Fading
Let it Take You
Tear the World Apart
Youth
Don’t Let Go
The River Reminds Me to Sing
The exhibition
I walked around my local area in SE London and put up posters and left flyers as the exhibition ran over 6 weeks in the summer of 2023. What was so special about the closing event event was that there were all ages there as well as friends and strangers and I had some poets perform pieces about grief. You can see more of the evening here.
What now?
These haunting images are currently sitting in bubble wrap in the corner of my study, begging to see the light of day again. Maybe there is someone reading this who works for a grief or mental health charity, or a church that would love to display them in order to facilitate and encourage important discussions around the themes of death, grief and healing. If so please get in touch and we can chat about some possible arrangements.
The images of Lost Daughter and the experience of making them hold a special place in my heart and I am so grateful that they came into being and that I got such meaningful feedback from the exhibition. You can read more about my personal experience through grief here. Please let me know below or via the contact page if you have any thought, ideas or reflections.
